Eaten by the Drumstick
In the moonlight, the drumsticks danced and sang. They pounded rhythmic sounds on drums. Echoes reverberated through the canopy of trees.
"Who's the chicken now?" a giant chicken leg taunted.
Keith and Chris cowered under the blanket. The pattern printed on it was of large chickens standing next to small humans. The chickens on the pattern had multicolored feathers, but from the shape of their bodies, they were chickens for sure. The humans on the blanket pattern were pale white with expressions of fear.
"Chickens! Chicken chickens!" the drumsticks chanted.
A giant fried chicken thigh emerged from behind a heavy black velvet curtain. It was battered very thickly, with crags and nooks large enough for a human head to fit into. It was clearly extra crispy.
"I said I was sorry!" Keith yelled. "I said it so many times! I promise I will never eat fried chicken again. I'll be the best vegetarian on the planet."
"You have eaten too much fried chicken throughout your lifetime," the extra crispy giant thigh said. "White meat, dark meat, and everything in between. Shame on you for your wrongdoings."
"Eat me, not him!" Chris exclaimed. "I have eaten much more fried chicken than Keith. I love fried chicken! I would never promise not to eat fried chicken. It's too irresistible for me."
A monstrous fried chicken drumstick rose into the air and slammed down onto Chris' head. Chris crumpled to the ground, unconscious. Then Chris was eaten by the beastly drumstick in one large gulp.
It was revenge. Crunchy, fried revenge against the chicken eater.
Tears dripped from Keith's brow as his jaw dropped in horror. Cold sweat from his body soaked his plaid collared shirt. He stared at the crispy drumstick that had just eaten his friend. His heart raced as he tried to come up with a way not to die.
"Drumstick still hungry! Drumstick want plaid chicken-eating boy!" it bellowed at Keith while bouncing up and down on the ground. Every time it pounded the earth, the trees shook. "Boy is scrawny but smells tasty!"
Keith shuddered at the irony of the drumstick's statement, for the smells of all the fried chicken around him made his mouth water. His stomach rumbled loudly. He pressed his arms against his abdomen to quiet the noise.
A giant paper bucket emerged from the forest, as tall as the redwood trees around it. The smell of secret herbs and spices overwhelmed Keith's senses. His eyes watered from the vapors.
One by one, giant pieces of fried chicken hopped out of the paper bucket, landing on the forest floor with splashes of hot oil. Each piece was tall and wide enough to smother Keith. Some had clearly been dredged in flour, herbs, salt, and pepper. They left a powdery trail as they bounded around. Others had crusts of various types, such as giant cornflakes and cracker crumbs.
Keith peered out from his blanket, scanning the area for a way to escape. But the giant pieces of fried chicken surrounded him on all sides and were closing in.
"Dinner time! Chicken eater for dinner!" the fried chicken pieces shouted with hunger.
Then a realization hit Keith. The only way he would escape his situation was to fight. The only way to fight was to eat. He had to bite back to fight back.
"Only I will be eating dinner!" Keith screamed.
Keith opened his mouth wider than he had ever opened it before. He charged mouth first at an enormous chicken wing. As his teeth made contact with the wing, he snapped his jaw shut, capturing a large mouthful of crunchy wing breading and meat.
"Mmmmmm!!" Keith said while chewing.
Keith widened his mouth again, baring his teeth at a humongous, flavorful chicken breast. He bit it several times. "Those bites are for my friend Chris!" he said through his mouthfuls of white meat and bread crumbs.
The giant fried chicken breast tried to fly away, but its thick bread crumb coating weighed it down too much. It wriggled in agony from Keith's bites.
"This is like a dream!" Keith exclaimed. "You all taste so good!" He rubbed his belly and opened his mouth for another bite.
One by one, the gigantic pieces of fried chicken hopped back into their bucket. "Don't go so soon! I'm still hungry!" Keith shouted.
He grabbed the enormous chicken wing again and took several bites, munching until only bones were left. Then he lunged at the chicken breast, wrapping his arms around it and tackling it to the ground. As it squirmed beneath him, he took bites until it stopped moving.
"No piece of fried chicken will ever threaten me again," Keith said to the bucket full of fried chicken. "No matter how crunchy. From now on, always remember, I'm at the top of the food chain."